This needs to be praised and placed on a pedestal just as much as marriage is. If women were glorified more for their accomplishments they would probably feel more confident in themselves when the subject of marriage was broached, rather than feeling inadequate.
Start With an Honest Conversation
So the last thing we need is for our loved ones to urge us to force ourselves into something that is meant to transpire naturally. I have seen older people succumb to this pressure. Rushing into marriage due to parental influence has left some with financial strain, paying off a wedding that they are no longer happy about, or merely marrying the wrong partner. But I can understand why they do it. Truth be told, I dread being another year older without having a potential love interest to show off to my family.
It almost makes me feel disgraceful. Fortunately, I am not alone in this and have my friends to talk to and confide in. I love the idea of marriage. I love the idea of building a life and a family with your best friend. I love the idea of being with someone that accepts you and your imperfections.
For me, the priority is feeling whole and complete with myself first, rather than finding that through being in a relationship with someone else. Do not ignore these concerns. Take a serious look, and maybe consult a third-party such as a therapist, to make sure you aren't making a terrible decision. Sometimes you can't see the forest for the trees and you need somebody with a degree in counseling to give you a reality check. If money is a relationship problem before you get married, money will be the reason you will eventually divorce.
Prenuptial agreements are common nowadays, but they can even be the thing that's causing the biggest arguments in the month prior to the wedding. In some cases, it's not a big deal and is merely a formality to protect everybody's pre-existing assets. But if you have fundamentally different beliefs about marriage and finances, you are not ready to be married to each other. If you truly believe in "what's yours is mine and what's mine is yours" and your future spouse does not, there will be problems.
Money should never be the motivation to marry someone who otherwise treats you badly. Likewise, if you have cause to think your future mate is more interested in your money than your heart, it's time to do some soul searching before you get married. I'm not writing about any particular couple today, or any specific circumstances.
I'm telling you that I've planned almost weddings and I've sent several couples down the aisle knowing full well that half the people witnessing the affair were adamantly opposed to the marriage. It's a weird feeling as the wedding planner. I'm not a licensed psychologist and my job is to plan and execute the wedding, not give relationship advice. In my entire career, I have only spoken up three times before the actual wedding to tell the bride or groom or both that I felt they should not move forward with the ceremony.
There were shades of domestic violence in each case and I couldn't ethically ignore what I had actually seen with my own eyes. None of them listened to me and all of them got married. Some, not all, are still married. To this day, I regret having opened my mouth because they didn't hear a word I said and got married anyway and all I did was give them an additional negative memory of their wedding planner sitting them down to ask "are you really sure you should do this?
Believe me when I say that it was only in the most extreme of circumstances that I crossed what I consider to be a professional line.
I was 'marriage-shamed' for getting engaged at 22
But what did it accomplish? Absolutely nothing. Take a step back and think about why you are concerned. Make a list.
Schedule an appointment with an unbiased third party. If you have been abused, go by yourself to see the counselor first. If you won't listen to your friends or your mom and dad, maybe somebody with a bunch of letters behind his name can make you see the light. Perhaps a professional can help you both work through the issues that are causing the problem and eventually you can get married. Postponing the wedding doesn't mean you will never marry that person.source link
I Can't Keep Calm I'm Getting Married - Keep Calm and Carry On
It simply means you are not ready to take the final step yet. There is literally no reason in the world that you HAVE to get married.
I've heard it all - one needs the other's health insurance, they've spent a fortune on the wedding, they already own a house together, they've made a baby - and none of those reasons are good enough for a bride or groom to say "I do" to someone if there are other serious problems in the relationship.
Cancelling or postponing your wedding is probably one of the most embarrassing, depressing and frustrating thing you will ever have to do in your life, but isn't that better than explaining why the marriage only lasted a few months or that your spouse has been locked up for hitting you, again? I want every person out there to find true love and marry that person but not every couple is meant to marry each other.
Just because you've planned the wedding does not mean you have to go through with it and get married if all the signs tell you it's the wrong thing to do. News U.
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